Many Christian women—especially pastors’ wives and ministry leaders—carry a deep desire to serve like Jesus.
But somewhere along the way, servanthood got misapplied.

It began to sound like:

• “A good Christian woman never disappoints anyone.”

• “If someone asks, I have to say yes.”

• “If I set boundaries, people will think I’m unloving or selfish.”

• “Everyone else’s needs come before my own.”

But here’s the truth:

Jesus was actually the opposite of all these things.

He disappointed people.
He said no.
He walked away.
He didn’t meet every need.
He chose rest.
He honored His limits.
He valued connection with His Father over people’s demands.

If we believe serving God means never stopping, never resting, never disappointing others, and never having boundaries—we are following a version of Jesus the Bible doesn’t teach.

Let’s look at who Jesus actually was.

1. Jesus Disappointed People—Often

We fear disappointing others because we equate disappointment with failure.
But Jesus disappointed people regularly.

Example: People Wanted Him to Stay—He Said No

In Luke 4:42–43, the crowds tried to keep Jesus from leaving their town.
But He answered:

“I must preach the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.”

He disappointed a whole town that wanted more from Him.

Example: He Refused to Perform on Command

In Luke 23:8–9, Herod hoped Jesus would do miracles for entertainment.
Jesus didn’t respond—not a word.

Jesus did not live to satisfy expectations.

2. Jesus Said No—and Walked Away

We often imagine Jesus as endlessly available, but Scripture shows the opposite.

Example: Jesus Walked Away from Crowds to Be Alone

In Matthew 14:23, after feeding the 5,000, Jesus dismissed the crowds and went up the mountain by Himself to pray.

He didn’t say,
“Let me just counsel a few more people first.”
He left.

Example: Jesus Walked Away Multiple Times

• Luke 5:16 — “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

• John 6:15 — He withdrew again when people wanted to force Him into leadership.

• Mark 3:7 — He withdrew with His disciples when crowds became overwhelming.

His ministry rhythm included regular withdrawal, not nonstop availability.

3. Jesus Didn’t Meet Every Need

We believe:
“All the needs around me are my responsibility.”
But Jesus—who could have healed every person on earth—did not meet every need.

Example: He Left People Unhealed in Entire Regions

When Jesus moved on from one town to the next, there were still sick people, needy people, and desperate people left behind.

He wasn’t driven by need.
He was led by the Father.

4. Jesus Didn’t Avoid Conflict—He Walked Straight Into It

Many Christian women avoid conflict because they think peacekeeping equals godliness.

But Jesus was not conflict-avoidant.

He:

• Called out hypocrisy (Matthew 23)

• Challenged religious leaders (Mark 2:27–28)

• Cleansed the temple (John 2:13–17)

• Had hard conversations with His disciples (Mark 8:33)

Jesus didn’t fear people’s reactions.

He loved truth more than approval.

5. Jesus Honored Rest—As a Holy Rhythm

Jesus understood something we often forget:
Rest is not optional. Rest is obedience.

Example: Jesus Slept in the Middle of a Storm

(Mark 4:38)
Even when chaos swirled around Him, He honored His body’s need for rest.

Example: He Invited His Disciples to Rest

In Mark 6:31, Jesus told His disciples:

“Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

This was not a suggestion.
It was instruction.
Jesus led His team into rest as part of ministry—not an escape from it.

6. Jesus Set Boundaries Around His Time, Energy, Calling, and Identity

Jesus was grounded in purpose and not pulled by pressure.

He set boundaries with people

• Refused to go to Lazarus sooner despite pressure (John 11:6)

• Told His mother His priorities were God’s will (Luke 2:49)

He set boundaries with enemies

• Wouldn’t answer every accusation

• Escaped violent crowds instead of staying to appease them (John 10:39)

He set boundaries with His disciples

• Pulled away from them to pray

• Corrected them when needed

• Didn’t let their agenda override His mission

Boundaries weren’t selfish to Jesus—
they were essential to fulfilling what God asked Him to do.

Misapplied Servanthood Leads to Burnout

When Christian women take on a distorted view of Christlike service, it produces:

• chronic guilt

• overcommitment

• resentment

• exhaustion

• emotional numbness

• spiritual dryness

• loss of identity

• burnout

Because the model they’re trying to follow…
isn’t actually Jesus.

True Christlike Service Is Spirit-Led, Not People-Driven

Jesus served with compassion, power, and sacrifice—
but never at the expense of His connection with the Father or the health of His soul.

If Jesus needed rest, boundaries, solitude, clarity, and limits—
so do we.

You are never more like Jesus than when you:

• follow the Father’s voice over people’s expectations

• rest when you need rest

• say yes because the Spirit leads, not because guilt pushes

• say no without apology

• disappoint others rather than disobey God

• walk away from pressure

• protect what God has entrusted to you

• honor your God-given limits

This is true servanthood.

This is the way of Jesus.