As a woman in ministry, you’ve likely learned—explicitly or implicitly—that emotions can feel inconvenient at best and dangerous at worst.

There are sermons to support, people to care for, expectations to manage, and a quiet pressure to be “spiritually steady” no matter what is happening inside of you. So when anger flares, anxiety tightens your chest, or tears come without warning, it’s easy to wonder: What is wrong with me? or Why can’t I just trust God more?

But what if nothing is wrong with you at all?

What if your emotions are not the problem—but the pathway?

Emotions Are Indicators, Not Enemies

Our emotions are not sinful. They are not weaknesses. And they are certainly not something to stuff down in the name of faith.

Emotions are indicators—they give us valuable insight into what is happening in our hearts.

One of my favorite quotes says this:

“Anger is fear’s bodyguard.”

Anger often shows up first because it feels safer than fear. Fear feels vulnerable. Fear admits need. Fear acknowledges that something feels out of our control.

So anger steps in to protect us.

But when we only deal with the anger—snapping, shutting down, withdrawing, or powering through—we miss the deeper message our heart is trying to communicate.

Underneath many of the emotions pastors’ wives experience are fears like:

• What if I disappoint people?

• What if I’m not enough for this role?

• What if I can’t keep doing this?

• What if no one really sees me?

Your emotions are gently waving a flag saying, “Pay attention. Something here matters.”

Your Body Has a Check Engine Light

God designed our bodies to partner with our emotions. Often, your body notices emotional fear before your mind has words for it.

Think of it like a check engine light.

Some common physical signals include:

• Tightness in your chest or throat

• A clenched jaw or shoulders creeping up toward your ears

• A pit in your stomach

• Headaches or chronic tension

• Shallow breathing or feeling “on edge”

• Fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest

These physical responses are not failures of faith. They are invitations to awareness.

Instead of pushing through them, try gently asking:

• What am I feeling right now?

• What just happened that stirred this response?

• What might I be afraid of in this moment?

Awareness is the first step toward freedom.

Learning to Pause Instead of Power Through

Many pastors’ wives are incredibly skilled at pushing forward—smiling, serving, showing up, and holding it together. But living The Good Ministry Life requires something countercultural: the willingness to pause.

Pausing does not mean spiraling.
Pausing means partnering with Jesus.

Here’s a simple, grace-filled practice you can begin using:

1. Pause and Name

Take a breath and name what you’re experiencing.

“Jesus, I feel angry.”
“I feel overwhelmed.”
“I feel anxious and unsure.”

Naming disarms shame. God already knows—this is about your awareness, not His.

2. Listen Beneath the Emotion

Ask what may be underneath.

“What am I afraid of right now?”
“What feels threatened or uncertain?”

Remember: anger often protects fear. Fear often reveals desire—desire for safety, rest, clarity, or connection.

3. Invite Jesus Into the Feeling

This is where transformation begins.

Instead of asking Jesus to take the feeling away, invite Him into it:

“Jesus, will You meet me here?”
“What do You want me to know about this?”
“How do You see this situation?”

Jesus is not afraid of your emotions. He does not rush you past them. He enters them with truth, compassion, and perspective.

4. Receive His Interpretation

We often live reacting to our interpretation of circumstances—filtered through fear, exhaustion, and past wounds.

But Jesus offers His interpretation.

He may remind you:

• You are not alone.

• You are not failing.

• You are allowed to rest.

• You are deeply seen.

• This moment does not define you.

His truth calms the nervous system and reorients the heart.

Emotions Lead Us Toward Wholeness

When we ignore emotions, they don’t disappear—they leak out sideways through burnout, resentment, numbness, or chronic stress.

But when we honor emotions as indicators and invite Jesus into them, they become doorways to healing, maturity, and peace.

This is how we begin to live The Good Ministry Life:

• Emotionally honest

• Spiritually grounded

• Physically attentive

• Relationally present

You were never meant to minister at the expense of yourself. Jesus cares about your inner world just as much as your outward calling.

So the next time your heart feels loud or your body feels tense, pause and listen.

Your emotions are not betraying you.

They are guiding you—straight into the presence of a Savior who wants to walk with you, not just use you.

And that is very good news. 💛

I'm praying for you sweet sister!